Battle of the big bag ban
Baggate, I'm calling it.
When you consider the sheer number of heavy-duty "reusable" plastic bags being bought for a few measly cents each or simply handed out for free at the checkout, you have to wonder whether the Great Bag Ban of 2018 is hindering, rather than helping, the environment.
Remembering to bring your own reusable bags to the supermarket with you every time you go is an almost insurmountable mental summit.
It simply doesn't matter how many organised and helpful humans provide me with well-meaning tips on how to keep folded-up green bags in my handbag or car boot, I can't seem to get my thick skull to fully absorb the process.
I invariably end up at the supermarket, half a trolley deep into an intense food-selecting session, when I realise I am completely and utterly bagless.
Less plastic in landfill and in turtles' stomachs is a cause I honestly and whole-heartedly support, with every ounce of my planet Earth-loving being.
I find it easy enough to steer clear of buying fruit and veg wrapped in excess packaging.
Re-purposing and recycling clothes takes a bit of thought, but is entirely doable.
Putting cans in the recycling bin is simply second-nature.
Turning the tap off while brushing my teeth is automatic.
But gee willikers, Baggate has got me beat.
And by all accounts, I'm not the only one.
Instead of buying an extra couple of bags (that I don't need) every time I forget my reusable haversacks, I want to come up with another solution. The most obvious remedy - just remember your bags, dummy - probably isn't ever going to work for me.
But the growing collection of thick plastic bags, cooler bags and green bags on the bottom shelf of my pantry at home and under my office desk is alarming.
Earlier this week I found myself in a familiar situation: at the shops, with nary a single coffret in which to transport my goods.
Defiant in the face of the cheap, thick plastic bags on offer, I scanned every item, placed it on the "put-your-items-here-after-you-scan-them-or-we'll-shut-down-the-checkout" spot (not sure what the technical term for that area is) before picking them up one-by-one and putting them back in the trolley.
I am not going to lie.
Doing things this way was a real pain in the backside.
Because I then had to pick up each individual item and place it in my car boot.
By the time I got home - which requires a trip up the windy Kuranda Range - the back of my car looked like the loser in a food fight. To finish things off, I then hauled all those items into the kitchen (it probably would have made sense to grab a couple of bags from the house and carry the shopping in that way, but I too far gone by that point).
In a way, I think I was punishing myself for being a moron who can't remember to pack a bag for the sake of the planet.
So, I won't be doing things that way again.
But I need to find a way to make my life easier. Send me your tips, please.
Sea creatures everywhere will thank you.