James Weir recaps 2019 - the year of the runner-up
This was the year of people winning things who probably shouldn't win things despite the fact a lot of the time we voted for them to win the things.
Are we still annoyed at Tom Gleeson for stealing Amanda Keller's Gold Logie? Maybe we weren't even annoyed in the first place. I don't know. But after his 2018 campaign for Grant Denyer to win the Gold and steal it off Tracy Grimshaw, he's kind of on a roll and now he needs to go for a trifecta in 2020. But how does he top it? I still think he should campaign for Tania Zaetta to receive a Gold Logie retrospectively for her outstanding work wearing tight tank tops on Who Dares Wins, but that's just me.
Anyway, my point is 2019 was the year of the runner-up. There was Keller. Bill Shorten not winning also took us by surprise. And what about that human Barbie doll Carlin winning The Bachelorette? Bill Shorten is the Timm of politics.
But a positive we can take away from this year is that after demise comes a rebirth. Like Karl. It's about time Nine realised it made a big mistake axing him in the first place. He didn't need to be ostracised by society like the Roxy Jacenko poo jogger.
Yes, we all got up in arms a year ago and wouldn't shut up about how we were all sick of him. But what would we know? We're just idiots who like complaining about everything. We didn't actually want him gone. But in the final seconds of the year, order was restored and Nine made the move to reinstate him from January. And what about Today's former hosts, That Lady & The Other Girl? Who knows.
In 2019, That Lady & The Other Girl were cancelled - but so was everyone else. And if people weren't being cancelled they were being accused of being racist. Qantas tried to cancel The Veronicas and then The Veronicas tried to cancel Qantas. And then will.i.am also tried to cancel Qantas by pulling a Yumi Stynes and accusing a flight attendant of being racist. Qantas and the country's newest shock jock Kerri-Anne just never recovered.
The C-word also became OK to hurl around in prime-time television this year. Both Married At First Sight and The Bachelorbroke through the social barricades and set a new precedent by allowing the controversial term to be yelled on-air. The brave work by reality producers has now paved the way for Nat Barr and Sam Armytage to finally yell the C-word at Kochie next time he shakes his fist at the sky on Sunrise.
Of course, the C-word incidents didn't come without some backlash and all of a sudden everyone turned on that MAFS expert Mel Schilling and started an online petition demanding she be fired. How ridiculous. People should use online petitions for more important things - like demanding movie theatres inform all patrons that the frozen coke machine is broken BEFORE we purchase our tickets.
Speaking of online petitions, there was that Israel Folau mess. Look, he has some rather drastic thoughts on things but so do a lot of people in our lives. Izzy is basically your very religious great aunt who hates gays and also your haircut.
I saw the Folaus the other day whirling around the cosmetics floor at David Jones on Black Friday. (The David Jones at Westfield Bondi Junction - not the David Jones at Westfield Byron Bay where the Hemsworths live). Anyway, Izzy looked me dead in the eye as I yelled at one of those Clinique ladies wearing a lab coat. And in that moment, all our differences fell away.
Because at the end of the day, we all just want the same thing in life: price-reduced skincare that will help us achieve a dewy glow.