OPINION: Bully reporter goes MIA to avoid Star Wars spoilers
MIDNIGHT was when my phone lit up to signal the first round of messages.
"About to see Star Wars and watch cinema history unfold…"
"So, Just purchased my ticket for Star Wars and off to see if Friday night…"
"Hey, are you here? I wasn't sure if you were seeing the midnight screening…"
Followed by the second wave at 3am.
"Wow! You are in for one wild ride…"
"I would recommend taking toilet breaks during the scene of…"
Star Wars: The Force Awakens? More like the Grump Awakens. Suffice to say, I've woken up this morning a little on edge from multiple messages received while I was sleeping last night.
To prevent myself from being exposed to spoilers of, what I can only anticipate, will be one of the greatest movies in Sci-Fi history, I have taken vast precautionary measures to ensure I am best protected from spoilers.
I have decided to take a sabbatical from social media (Facebook, Instagram, Messenger), though it pains me dearly.
I am burying my head deep in my work (at least for today and tomorrow) and keeping myself busy so not to be tempted by the evil iPhone screen to "see what's happening in the World Wide Webberverse".
I am politely cutting people off in conversation should the words come up and asking them to change their topic or walk away.
Let's face it, nobody likes spoilers, whether they stumble across them accidently, or are confronted by carless and vulgar individuals who just "can't help themselves" to blurt out the twist, death or dramatic plotline of a good tale.
For those who have been fortunate to view the screening of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, I hope you enjoyed it, but please be respectful of those who haven't as of yet.
I have culminated some tips that can help keep the peace for the next few weeks.
Tips on how to survive Star Wars if you haven't yet seen it (but plan to)
1. Avoid social media as much as you can - the web is dark and full of spoilers
2. Keep yourself busy - chances are if you're distracted, you'll be less inclined to be hung up on the whole thing.
3. If the subject comes up, politely excuse yourself from the conversation or try and divert it to something else.
4. Go and see the movie at the earliest possible time you can - chances are, if you're a big fan of the flick, you will be already booking your tickets, or setting a day to watch it.
5. Be happy for others who have seen the movie before you, your time will come soon enough.
Tips on how to survive Star Wars if you have seen the movie
1. Be respectful to your friends and others who are also fans of the movie, but may not have seen it - give them space and time (they will thank you for it in the end).
2. Feel free to share your thoughts on the film with others who have seen it, but be mindful of those who haven't, to avoid blurting out any plots or game changers.
3. Avoid boasting - not everyone who wanted to see the film as early as possible, is able to (due to work commitments or other engagements), you just come across as the bad guy.
4. Keep social media posts simple and ambiguous - or if you plan to discuss a spoiler, post 'SPOILER" in your words to make others aware of your intentions.
5. The level of fandom is quite wide with Star Wars (some know the entire expanded universe, while others are happy to know the basics (Storm Trooper, Luke Skywalker, Wookie and Ewoks - 'those furry things'). Keep in mind that your fandom levels may be different to others, try not to come across condescending just because others may not be as passionate as you. Star Wars is awesome regardless of how much everyone knows, so share the love.