'She suggested I lost my baby because of a silly superstition'
THERE are some things in life you just don't joke about. One of them is the loss of a baby or child.
And we're not even sure if this was meant as a joke or not, but it's downright cruel and unnecessary.
A woman has posted to Mumsnetasking if she is possibly being too sensitive after a family member suggested she had attracted bad luck by leaving her Christmas lights up past 5 January.
"I had to have a TFMR (termination for medical reasons) at 20 weeks last year due to a serious defect," the woman wrote in her post.
"It was a horrible time, all family members know about it and I still don't have any children despite being pregnant twice."
She went on to say that she was out having a coffee with a family member and had mentioned that she'd not yet finished taking the Christmas decorations down as she had been sick and hadn't got around to doing it yet.
"She was a bit shocked and said it was really bad luck to leave them up past the fifth and wasn't I worried about that sort of thing," she continued.
"I was a bit surprised as I didn't realise she was superstitious so I made a joke about how we ended up leaving our [white] fairy lights up over the fireplace last year as they looked cosy, so we kept them up all year, and the sky didn't fall in.
"She then said flippantly 'well you did have that thing with the pregnancy - I would say that was bad luck, if it was me I wouldn't chance it!'"
The woman asked if she was possibly being oversensitive and asked if her family friend was suggesting she had caused the 'bad luck' by leaving the fairy lights up.
The general consensus was that it was not only stupid to make such a comment, but terribly insensitive.
"It was a really f**king stupid and insensitive thing for her to say," replied one person, adding, "I'm so sorry for your loss."
Another said she is "stupid and very cruel" to have said that to her: "Of course leaving the lights up had nothing to do with baby's defect. I'm so sorry OP for what you've been through."
"It's massively insensitive on every level" wrote another, who also pointed out the woman's poor choice of wording: "Describing such a difficult situation as flippantly as 'that thing with the pregnancy' is as bad as the implication that you could have done anything to prevent it."
Sadly, another person shared a similar story about a friend who had a disabled brother: "My friend's grandma told her it was because her mother (grandma's daughter-in-law) was wearing an opal ring when she gave birth, which apparently means bad luck."
I think we can all agree that no matter how superstitious you are, or how much you think blaming something on a superstition might be OK, when it comes to anything even remotely sensitive, perhaps avoid making light of it.
And NEVER imply a mother is to blame for the loss of her child.
This originally appeared on Kidspot and has been republished with permission.