FIND HAPPINESS: You don’t need to compete to feel worthy, to get someone’s attention and to feel that your voice is heard.
FIND HAPPINESS: You don’t need to compete to feel worthy, to get someone’s attention and to feel that your voice is heard.

Tuesdays with Jordie: Insecurity drives competition

DON’T compete to fit in. Don’t compete to “be better” than someone else at something. Don’t compete for someone’s attention. Don’t compete to achieve things before someone else. Don’t compete to be heard over someone who loves the sound of their own voice.

I have been through many situations so far where I have felt like I need to compete to feel worthy, to get someone’s attention and to feel not only that my voice is heard but that my words are valued.

And then I realised.

Whoever makes me feel like I have to compete to be worthy of their time probably isn’t worth mine to begin with. Almost every situation that makes me feel like I have to compete with others to reach a successful outcome, most likely isn’t worth straining myself for to begin with. The voices that drown my own out aren’t worth yelling over anyway.

I have learnt a lot on my little journey through life so far. Most of my lessons are derived from external factors and the different environments I have been part of as I experience life and its constantly shifting scenery.

All of it inspires me to focus on one thing that no external element could ever have the power to change.

My inner-self.

I need to acknowledge the things that make me feel vulnerable, overlooked or don’t serve me any real purpose. I need to strengthen my inner power to overcome situations or move on from people that make me feel that way.

Life involves a lot of adapting to change, adapting to the world around us and building up our best armour to take on the challenges that we face.

I’ve started to recognise that my need to compete has come from me and my own insecurities.

I’ve been learning how to adjust my sails to be able to enjoy my time on life’s choppy waters.

I am beginning to really understand just how much my own actions set me up for certain outcomes.

I know that feeling the need to compete is only ever going to add intolerable pressure onto my own shoulders. It’s an unnecessary weight that no one but myself will ever have to carry. This is a learning curve within itself for me.

The right people will hear my voice, make the effort to listen and make time for me, just like the right opportunities will come to me when I am ready because everything happens at certain times for a reason.

It starts with me and knowing my self-worth, what I have worked hard to achieve and how I deserve to be treated. If anyone else out there has been wrestling with their competitive side, slow down, take things at your own pace and surround yourself with people who truly appreciate you. Your story is totally different to everyone else’s. Don’t skip over important chapters just to keep up with the fast writers or you’ll miss the vital details that make your story unique.